AN AUTHOR, BLOGGER, PROLIFIC RESEARCHER, ARDENT LEGAL COMMENTATOR, TV/RADIO HOST AND COMMUNICATION DIRECTOR OF THE SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST CHURCH IN PORT HARCOURT CONFERENCE.

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FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES EVERY ADVENTIST CHURCH SHOULD POSSESS

 Wednesday, October 5                    





Key Text:  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching”. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

 

One of our Pastor in Ikwerre zone in Port Harcourt conference, in his quest to understand why in a full quarter visitors and friends don’t attend their Sabbath worship, decided to conduct a personal research by visiting some of his members and asked them what they think each can do to get a targeted number of friends who will regularly walk into the church on Sabbath, relaxed and worship God with joy in their heart and hopes of prayer answered.

 

Six months of deliberate plan from the church members indeed yielded massive Sabbath school membership drive as community dwellers, and friends from social media space became regular worshippers. So what did they do right?

 

Truth is building and sustaining relationship can be tedious as it demands a conscious process. And this explains why as Adventist we are still struggling with membership drive in west central Africa, whereas, the Kenya’s in East Africa are making exploits?

 

A recently conducted research showed that few friends come to our church because they see the buildings and they are attracted to the architectural structure of the facilities. Some people will come to church because they are drawn into the church by the music ministry. There are those who will come because of the youth ministry or the provisions or welfare packages. A few would even dare to come during our special annual programme and for some because of the preacher and his homiletical style. But more than anything else, will people visit our branches because someone has cultivated a relationship with them, and out of that friendship extended an invitation for them to come and discover God’s special plan for them?

Identify your church’s love language

A church’s love language may reflect the “DNA” of a congregation and an attempt to change it, the church will likely experience conflict and decline. Like Ellen White in her book (Quote ), Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages” no doubt has impacted many in relationship and the church members can leverage on these languages in the way they should  relate with friends.

1.      The words of affirmation church

A pastor friend served at a church in one of our district that seemed to be apathetic and unmotivated. The pastor constantly preached messages that were intended to challenge the congregation to action and some messages sounded critical of the people. The more the pastor challenged and criticized, the less motivated the church seemed to be. In contrast, during the just concluded pulpit exchange evangelism this year, a visiting preacher presented an encouraging message, the usually stoic congregation erupted in spontaneous applause. Don’t you think that such church members loved being encouraged? How does your church, respond to this language?

2.      The acts of service church

Years ago I had a friend in Ahoada who was always worshipping with us and was actively involved in all programme and projects of the church. So I asked him why he was reluctant to be a fully baptized member of the church, guess what his response was… “Unfortunately, one of the days he said to me “I am not energized by the Acts of Service noticed in your church”. Initially I couldn’t fathom what he meant by that, but years later I discovered that there are element of truth in his observations. As members, how can we make our actions speak louder than words to our Sabbath school friends who worship with us at intervals or regularly. We should be sensitive to the yearning needs of our friends, when they go through rough or stressful time, acts of service can also be a great way to help take the weight off their shoulders. If you're not sure exactly what could be their challenges or their needs, you can kindly walk up or sit close to them and just ask "What can I do for you?

3.      The receiving gifts church

Some members don’t know how to give good gift to their visiting friend. Sometimes we hold on to the cliché “There’s no money” and we lose friends that would have been strong vanguards of the gospel. Though this love language revolves around receiving gifts, it's not about materialism. It's still the thought that counts here, too. Giving a thoughtful present on monthly, quarterly or annual basis is a way of showing not only that you care about our friends in the church, but that you know and understand them, too. You don't have to be a master gift-giver to honor this love language—it's just about paying attention and knowing a lot about bible friends and knowing what they might like.

4.      The Quality Time Church

Mile three church members and some others in Port Harcourt conference are known to have friendship ties and bonds such that after worship on Sabbath, members gather together in potluck, spent quality time and converse about life generally. This act over the years have proven to bring unity among members. Let’s not always be in a hurry for worship to end, pick up your bible and off you are gone with your family. We need to on weekly basis be intentional how much attention we pay and the quality time we spend with our friends. You never can tell at what point of your conversation that the Holy Spirit will impress upon a heart. So lets give it a try.

5.      The physical touch church

This example is more difficult to describe and may be rare in some for some members. There is nothing wrong if a guest attending our church receives a hugs, hand-shakes, hold hands during prayer with members.

Action

1.      Let the church members spend few minute to identify and discuss how to implement the Love languages.

2.      How do we express these love languages and be devoted to constantly complimenting ourselves.

3.      How can we encourage members to clothe their faces with smiles?

4.      Members should be observant to visiting friends, learn how to call them by their name. The sweetest music to anyone's ears is the sound of his own name.


Prayer

 

 

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